Rabia graciously allowed me to post this passage from her assignment, and will reply to your comments / questions (and she will get extra credit -- despite the fact that she didn't ask for it)
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Geremio bought a house after 20 years of labor
in America
o
I can feel his happiness because my family
recently went through this two years back. No words do justice to the joy of
owning something of your own. Well, we do have to pay mortgage, so its technically
not completely ours. But still, yay!
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Annunziata, Geremio's wife, tells the kids not
to speak of their new ownership or someone will send an evil eye their way.
o
We believe in the same
o
We kept word of our house quiet
o
Eventually, we had to tell everyone
o
They were all jealous and envious, more than
impressed
o
Most of them owned homes, but liked ours better
o
My aunt that didn't own a home did not speak to
us for months, as if we had done something wrong with her
o
Such is the envy of humans
Does this sound familiar to any of you?
COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS
I come from a family that immigrated 20 years ago. Owning something of our own is a accomplishment of its own. But no matter what, my father always told me not to go around and tell people these things because they can "put an evil eye on you." Just recently I saved up enough to buy myself a car and call it mine. It was a sigh of relief because you don't owe anyone anything and you can do whatever you like to it. I also owned a apartment for some time and it was a really good feeling to come home to something that is yours. Eventually I couldn't keep up with it and had to sell it to help my family but for a little time I really enjoyed having sometime of my own. I can relate to why Annunziata didn't want her family speaking about the new house.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica. I admire your purchases thus far, and I wish you future permanent purchases. As an individual, I do not own anything of mine, but I do wish to buy a car without financing it. I hope I am able to do so within the next ten years.
DeleteThe envy of others is definitely hurtful, but we must also self-evaluate. Do we sincerely feel happy for others when they achieve their goals? I sincerely find myself to be happy for others, and I am proud to have this personality.
In many cultures including the Jewish community and certain parts of Africa, there is something called an evil eye. It is believed that misfortune can be brought unto someone by an evil gaze or malicious thoughts. I've noticed over the past two years people of all backgrounds wearing adornments of the Hamsa, so I presume many have become familiar with the subject.
ReplyDeleteIt's a natural human emotion for people to feel envious of others. I learned a rule of thumb early on to not discuss any of my life plans with anyone - at least the ones that matter to me the most. In the past, so-called friends swooped in for the kill and tried to take away opportunities from me for themselves. some succeeded, and some didn't. As an adult, you learn that you don't have to share every aspect of your life. It's okay to keep some things just for yourself.
I am so sorry that you have had undesirable experiences with opportunistic friends. I definitely do not find the need to share my achievements with others. However, this is something a little difficult to convey to my mother. My mother thinks that eventually, family needs to be aware. I don't find reason in her thoughts and neither does my father. However, maybe I am a bit harsh. My mother sometimes agrees with me and does not share my academic and work achievements with the specific aunt I mention in my notes. However, recently I received a scholarship for a study abroad and my mother says that is important to tell because I am leaving the country. I don't know. I do not fully understand why I must let others know ANY opportunity I am pursuing, especially someone that I know is never happy for me, only jealous.
DeleteAs a young kid raised by immigrant Haitian family we weren’t allowed to talk about what we got for Christmas or birthdays gifts because it will create problems. I never understood why. But as I got older I understood better. I saw one of my older cousin buy a house. It was a big surprise to all of us. Many wondered how she did it. She worked at the Waldorf Astoria as a cleaning lady for years. When news spread all critics began. She never went to school, can’t read and mother of two boys. She must be selling drugs or doing illegal. But the truth finally came out she saved her money and joined “money pools” to help her save. And she has been saving for the past thirty-two years. It’s sad when we can’t encourage hard work, dedication, and success of others.
ReplyDeleteSo, I continue the tradition and keep my success with friends and closes family.
Alexandre Legrand
Hi Alexandre. The situation you describe saddens me. However, I can not deny that I have never acted in a doubtful and judgemental manner as the audience you describe has. I certainly do not like admitting it, and I cannot remember specific instances, but I know that I must have acted in a similar fashion on more than one occasion.
DeleteWhen everyone around is struggling to ends make and you decide to make an doesn't about have a house most time won't receive response . Most people won't look at the fact that you have been working and struggling for years to achieve your dream of owning a house . They would see the fact that you have something that they don't have . As immigrant who receive desire to own a house for their family ? But you getting it before can often have a negative impact on people you though were even your friends . I am sure Annunziata knew that most immigrants at that time didn't own houses, so making their achievement a big new would make most of their friends jealous .
ReplyDeleteHi Safiatou. I agree that those that don't have what you have would be jealous. But in my case, it even applied with those who already had what we JUST got. However, they liked ours better. I refrain from using specific words to show how childish this sounds. It's like a kid wanting another kids toys even though he/she has much better and many more at home.
DeleteBasically in poverty it is a sea of many of people who work to live but do not live at all. Buying a home means you have gotten out of that situation, it means you are no longer apart of the sea of strugglers. In a community many become jealous when one has and not the other because everyone feels they are deserving. Jealously is inevitable in this situation and people will infect "turn the evil eye toward you", moving forward while others are idle implies you are doing better, people hate the idea of you doing better if they are not. Jealous, envy, it will be the thing that keeps us divided and eventually will lead to our demise the the extent of death.
ReplyDeleteHi Deidra. I would politely like to counter your argument that buying a house means you are no longer a part of the sea of strugglers. My family bought a house. We are still struggling.
DeleteI think buying a house means more that you have gathered the courage to take such a big step in life, and that you have saved enough or borrowed enough to put a down payment.
I completely understand Annunziata's wish to keep the purchase of the house private. In my culture/religion (Judaism), there is a saying "Blessing only comes to that which is hidden from the eye", which is a way of saying that keeping silent about your (coming) good fortune and being private is a good habit and can save you a lot of trouble. This doesn't mean that you can't share good news, people usually like to celebrate with parties and events. Rather, it means that before the good thing you wanted happens, it's best not to boast or talk too much about it. There's no need to rub it in everyone's faces. I think Annunziata's decision to keep the house private until they would actually move in was a smart move because it prevents jealousy for as long as possible, and also may train her children not to brag about things that they have that others may not.
ReplyDeleteThe religion I follow, Islam, teaches the same. We have at least two chapters in our holy book that are used as prayers to Allah (God) to protect us from those who envy us.
DeleteI feel like Annunziata is trying to safeguard the future of her family. She doesn't want her neighbors to start gossiping. This quote reminds of my own experiences. My parents have always told me that it never wise or polite to flaunt what you own. When someone that is unhappy with their own life sees someone else prosper, jealousy begins to manifest. They will start having ill thoughts about you.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe any of us can help feel jealous or envious of someone that has more than us. Personally, I am very happy with what I have, but that does not mean I do not feel jealous seeing others that have more than me.
DeleteI've had similar experiences with my Haitian family. However, I always thought it was ridiculous. I remember a few years ago when receiving clllege acceptances and receiving some scholarships, I was excited and wanted to share the news with friends and family members. My Randmther and I midi are family quickly advised against it and said that jealousy can make people do ugly things. I, now, understand why Annunziata did not want the kids to tell anyone about the new house. However, I think the reason isn't strong enough
ReplyDeleteMitsuka, I understand that you do not have strong feelings towards this idea of withholding information to prevent an "evil eye." I personally believe that maybe you have not had adverse experiences that force you to feel this way. I am glad. I wish this negativity continues to stay away from your life.
DeleteI would have to say it was done to protect their family from envious friends and/or neighbors. When you and a community of others are all in the same boat and are struggling to put bread on the table and pay the bills you have coming in, it is something that unites you and builds a bond between you and the community. But, when you began to do better while they are still left behind to struggle it can cause tension and jealousy; opening you up to possible sabotage and loss of friendships and connections. So, the best way for them to protect themselves from this would be to keep it a secret until they get the house and move in.
ReplyDelete